Asexuality in the furry fandom

[Southpaw]

I don't have too much to add that hasn't already been addressed but I strongly appreciate the nuance and diversity in the ace spectrum here. I'm asexual myself and do have some general interests that are often perceived as sexual, but I do not experience sexual pleasure from them. I figured out I'm ace on my 26th birthday and wish I'd found out much sooner, as it would've saved me a lot of awkward moments.

I'll say something slightly opposite and address that while furry communities have a ways to go for ace/aro inclusion and I've definitely felt uncomfortable around furries before, it's ultimately many times better about this than 'normies' I've had the displeasure of being around. Especially working a bunch of public-facing jobs and being an Uber driver, the drama and horrendous disrespect of boundaries I see around heteronormative people is absolutely mind boggling, you would believe that

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literal sexual assault

is perfectly normal and even expected while around them. In a patriarchal society there's hardly consequences for that, and speaking out against serious harm gets you outed as unmanly or queer and harassed. Normie queer folks can have some godawful etiquette too, having spent enough time in gay bars and a local bathhouse. The sheer amount of times I've been told I "just haven't had good sex" or that I'm weird in a derogatory way for sexual disinterest by normies versus furries is easily 100:1. I always feel far, far safer around furries even if the fandom isn't perfect.

[MapleSyruphox]

Reading through all of this still, but

I also have what some might reductively call "kinks", but I don't really see them that way myself. I like transformation because it kinda plays into my changing and varied sense of self. I like latex stuff because it affirms my otherkin identity. That kinda gubbins. None of it is for sexual gratification, so I don't really like calling them fetishes.

And I have also run into situations where people see something they don't understand and assume it's supposed to be erotic; I've got stuff I enjoy because I'm autistic and it seems like a nice sensory experience (like an interest in rubber and other synthetic characters - see the toy thread I made) and I have had to clarify that it's not sexual in nature multiple times.

I feel so seen, trying to explain a non-sexual interest in things like TF, plushies, and things I'm not brave enough to name, is never not a painful experience. I can never think of a way to say it that sounds convincing.

[NovaSquirrel]

I feel so seen, trying to explain a non-sexual interest in things like TF, plushies, and things I'm not brave enough to name, is never not a painful experience. I can never think of a way to say it that sounds convincing.

I feel like it goes better when you don't lead with "okay, so this thing is normally a sex thing, but for me it's not" and instead just confidently treat whatever it is as normal when you present it or talk about it, because then it doesn't turn into a conversation where you're trying to convince someone of something. Normalizing that it can just be a neat thing that you like. Posting my cute rubber art without going "watch out there's weird stuff ahead" hehe.

Of course when someone else tries to start a conversation about it with you that's a different story. I haven't run into that very much? Normally when I do end up talking about it it's because I'm trying to connect with people in a nsfw space for an interest because I can't find a sfw one, and other people are having trouble processing the idea that not everyone is there for the same reason they are.

[Southpaw]

Sadly that has historically not worked for me, and people assume I'm openly being a pervert when discussing topics that (usually allo) people deem sexualized in nature. While in a perfect world we wouldn't have to preface it that way, that doesn't hurt to do for now.