It's Critter Time!

I don't have too much to add that hasn't already been addressed but I strongly appreciate the nuance and diversity in the ace spectrum here. I'm asexual myself and do have some general interests that are often perceived as sexual, but I do not experience sexual pleasure from them. I figured out I'm ace on my 26th birthday and wish I'd found out much sooner, as it would've saved me a lot of awkward moments.

I'll say something slightly opposite and address that while furry communities have a ways to go for ace/aro inclusion and I've definitely felt uncomfortable around furries before, it's ultimately many times better about this than 'normies' I've had the displeasure of being around. Especially working a bunch of public-facing jobs and being an Uber driver, the drama and horrendous disrespect of boundaries I see around heteronormative people is absolutely mind boggling, you would believe that is perfectly normal and even expected while around them. In a patriarchal society there's hardly consequences for that, and speaking out against serious harm gets you outed as unmanly or queer and harassed. Normie queer folks can have some godawful etiquette too, having spent enough time in gay bars and a local bathhouse. The sheer amount of times I've been told I "just haven't had good sex" or that I'm weird in a derogatory way for sexual disinterest by normies versus furries is easily 100:1. I always feel far, far safer around furries even if the fandom isn't perfect.

Reading through all of this still, but

beeps wrote: Wed Jul 23, 2025 7:40 pm I also have what some might reductively call "kinks", but I don't really see them that way myself. I like transformation because it kinda plays into my changing and varied sense of self. I like latex stuff because it affirms my otherkin identity. That kinda gubbins. None of it is for sexual gratification, so I don't really like calling them fetishes.

NovaSquirrel wrote: Wed Jul 23, 2025 8:08 pm And I have also run into situations where people see something they don't understand and assume it's supposed to be erotic; I've got stuff I enjoy because I'm autistic and it seems like a nice sensory experience (like an interest in rubber and other synthetic characters - see the toy thread I made) and I have had to clarify that it's not sexual in nature multiple times.

I feel so seen, trying to explain a non-sexual interest in things like TF, plushies, and things I'm not brave enough to name, is never not a painful experience. I can never think of a way to say it that sounds convincing.

MapleSyruphox wrote: Sun Aug 24, 2025 11:40 pm I feel so seen, trying to explain a non-sexual interest in things like TF, plushies, and things I'm not brave enough to name, is never not a painful experience. I can never think of a way to say it that sounds convincing.

I feel like it goes better when you don't lead with "okay, so this thing is normally a sex thing, but for me it's not" and instead just confidently treat whatever it is as normal when you present it or talk about it, because then it doesn't turn into a conversation where you're trying to convince someone of something. Normalizing that it can just be a neat thing that you like. Posting my cute rubber art without going "watch out there's weird stuff ahead" hehe.

Of course when someone else tries to start a conversation about it with you that's a different story. I haven't run into that very much? Normally when I do end up talking about it it's because I'm trying to connect with people in a nsfw space for an interest because I can't find a sfw one, and other people are having trouble processing the idea that not everyone is there for the same reason they are.

Sadly that has historically not worked for me, and people assume I'm openly being a pervert when discussing topics that (usually allo) people deem sexualized in nature. While in a perfect world we wouldn't have to preface it that way, that doesn't hurt to do for now.

Being aroace, I do have two allo partners who completely understand and accept me being so, as I do them for being allo. I also have my fully ace wife as well. I think it comes down to finding those that are perfectly okay with differences, without any kind of shame or otherwise.

On the otherhand, more general people tend to be less friendly as sex in a relationship is a two way street. But, anyone general tends to be a bad experience to aroace, and you do have general furry populations unfortunately.

This thread honestly made me think of what being on ace spectrum really means to me.

So far, asexuality is the most confusing aspect for me. In no way I'm sex repulsed. I engage with art with sexual nature in furry community, have kinks in a "standard" understanding of it, also do have a sexual partner. But I noticed that I can't really connect with the most of the folks due to being sincerely disinterested most of the time in what allosexuals seem to value in said art (genitals, the act itself), which is understandable, but again, not for me mostly. If I do draw this sort of stuff, it mostly comes in a light manner, barely suggestive, sometimes not even mature tag worthy on Furaffinity. Because what I value in sex, both IRL and in art is feedback from partners, their expressions, negotiation and aftercare. I do these things because it makes others feel good and that makes me feel good too.

Generally speaking, I don't have any specific label, but to feel any attraction in the first place I need to have deep connection with person or even a character, otherwise I don't really care. When others try to comment under my art what they feel sexually about it, a lot of times I feel awkward and have almost nothing to say back, though I don't feel uncomfortable. But if I go to comment under others art, I will most likely admire the technical aspects like "oh wow the composition is great, also I love the colors here", though I might comment something like "oh I'm definitely normal about this", but that's it. Maybe because I come from prudish family, but I really can't seem to push myself to comment something more detailed than that even if I know artist's boundaries allow that.

Getting on testosterone HRT has made it all even more confusing to me, because *cough-cough*, libido and technically going through second puberty. I constantly deny that I'm on spectrum because of that (though I know that arousal != attraction) and because it's rare to see same experiences from asexual folks for me, I feel like I'm fitting in neither spaces to be honest. Glad to see the variety of experiences here though, so thank you for the thread